How Do I Communicate with My Ex?

Man TextingCommunication after divorce can be a real issue, especially when emotions are still strained and pained.   It is very important to make sure that all communications with your ex are civil and appropriate.  As you are communicating with your ex,  imagine that your texts, emails and even phone conversations will be heard or listened to by a commissioner or judge – because they could.

It is critical to make sure that all your communications are civil, meaning courteous and polite.   Be sure that your communications are clear, respectful and focused on the real issues.  Don’t use profanity or vulgar language.   Be sure that there are no threats, veiled or otherwise.   Do not use language that is intended to get an emotional response from your ex.   If there are protective orders in place be sure that you obey them completely.

It is essential that you protect your children from any and all harmful comments about their other parent.  Never speak ill of their parent (or that parent’s family) in the presence of the child or anywhere the child might possibly hear you.   (Kids are amazing eavesdroppers.) Make sure that others only speak respectfully about your children’s parent or family as well.  It is harmful to children to be exposed to negativity about their other parent.

Sometimes, when relationships are very strained, parties may need outside help.  There are apps, professionals and websites that can aid in this process.  However, these vary in expense and in complication.

Please contact us if you would like to discuss communication or any other issues related to your divorce.


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